ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”
“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.
Here’s the answer:
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this)
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!
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What they DON’T tell you (and I think this is so so so important) is that AFTER the period of doubt, AFTER the small annoyances, AFTER the restless feeling like maybe you made the wrong decision, if you can figure out a way to look at your partner and remember that all those annoying things are what endeared her to you in the first place, it gets so much better.
When I was younger, I was always scared of losing the limmerence stage. I felt sorry for people whose passion had faded. It terrified me to think of decades of boredom and droll routine.
No one ever told me that the deeply attached love you feel when you’re with the right person (and you know, because you decided to make it through that annoyance phase, because staying was infinitely less horrible than walking away) is the best thing in the world.
But now I’m studying digital animation and if not the movie industry i’ll be working in game development.
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how the actual fuck
do not question
He squished himself flat in his basket and I wanted to take a photo of him as an unleavened pigeon loaf, but as soon as I got the camera near him he puffed up and made himself handsome.